"Can I have a contact number please?"

"A phone number?! I don't have a contact!"

"How do we get there?"

"Well where are you?"

to her husband "Frank where are we?!"

her husband "North!"

"We headed north!"

"What street are you on?"

to her husband "What street are we on?"

her husband "Sedwick!"

"Sedgwick!"

"Ok I believe you want to-"

her husband "We don't need directions Louise!!"

"Nevermind then!"

Click.

"And what is your first name?"

"Marijuana."

"Oh that doesn't sound like something an old lady would like. Anything else?"

"Kama Sutra?"

"Oh my friend would not like that. He's Christian. He's a christian man."

"Can I speak to a manager please?"

"Which one?"

"The one in charge of the persecution of jews."

"What's the price?"

"24.00 per ticket plus a 4.50 service fee per ticket."

"That's expensive!"

"So are tampons so consider it a sanitary gift from you to me."

(ok, the last line was fantasy talk)

"So you're seat will be the third row, right off of the center aisle."

"So they're center?"

"Yes."

"Can you tell me which row please?"