"Now what rows does the balcony hang over?"

"The balcony does not hang in this theatre."

"That's impossible."

"Yes, I can tell you that the balcony does not hang."

"Now what if I dropped a yo-yo from the front row of the balcony what row would it land?"

"It would not land in a row."

"What if I dropped a rubber ball attached to a string?"

"It still would not."

"What matinees will you have on Wednesdays?"

"Well right now we do not have matinees on Wednesdays but we have a new show coming. It's called 'A Russian on the Side'."

"Is that a drink?!"

"No."

"I don't want to see anything with a Russian in it."

"Yes I need Ticketmaster."

"This is not Ticketmaster, it is the theatre."

"Oh! I need to buy one ticket please."

"For which show?"

"Apple Pie."

pause.

"Apple Pie?"

"yes."

"We don't have that show here."

"Oh."

Click.